I’m not a religious person. I do respect other religions and understand the need for them. I merely wish they didn’t drive people to do hateful things to each other.
But when I was growing up, I was quite fascinated with Asian religions and mysticism. I love mythology and all the ideas people came up with to explain how the Earth was made, how humans came to be, and how the world works. The Zodiacs are also fun to believe in as well. That different signs match and others conflict. And when you look at the Zodiacs, sometimes they really do make sense. And when I look at Chinese astrology, although it’s a different culture, sometimes I feel like it applies to me as well.
But at the end of the day, it isn’t real. Though we really want to believe it’s real. Though sometimes I really wonder how real it is.
My father was also interested in Chinese zodiacs and would look it up online to see what his sign was and what his fortune was like. My father even bought a charm and a jade tiger to reinforce his luck. I remember him telling me that it said he was born on an extremely lucky day and that he was supposed to be a very lucky person. But he wondered why he had lead such a miserable life and felt that the reading might be a mistake about his luck. My poor daddy… He has lead such a miserable life.
Last spring, I had the chance to go see a Taro card reader near my house with a fellow instructor at the institute. I went with little expectations because the last fortune teller I went to wasn’t very good. It was a $5 palm reading in Washington D.C. when I went to go visit my friends Lily and Mariana, and the woman told me I would be conflicted between two loves and to pick the newer love. There was no two men ever and I thought the woman was a bunch of crock afterwards.
So my coworker and I got two readings (also $5) and this time was for Love AND Work. The woman said for love, that I was in a relationship but the person I was with was more in love with me than I was with him (True). She told me it wouldn’t get any better and that I should just break up.
As for work, she said that it looks bright and that I should change my job in the fall. I was surprised by this response because everyone’s contract starts in a different month, but mine is in the fall, in October. I asked her about the Summer or Winter and she told me the cards say Fall and only Fall.
I had this reading and didn’t think too much of it. But then during the summer, an opportunity presented itself and I was able to start as soon as my other contract ended in the Fall. And that is what happened, just as she said.
It could be luck, it could be timing, but the way it worked out couldn’t have been any better.
Also at the time, I was looking for a way to break up with my ex and had finally found a way. At the same time, a friend of mine offered the services of a Shaman. You see, in Korea, they used to practice Shamanism, and the priests were very often women. Those charms you often see in Japanese animes at the shrines, well, Koreans have a form of them as well. You can buy cheap Japanese charms from these shrines for yourself. I bought one for my dad in Japan when I studied abroad there in hopes that it will improve his luck. He keeps it in his car and drives around with it. Sometimes I think it keeps him safe because he has gotten into accidents that could have killed him but he came out perfectly fine, just needing a new car. So maybe it is working? I can hope, anyway.
Anyway- my friend said she could get a charm for me from this old woman who could help get rid of my ex-boyfriend and improve my life. I was interested until she told me about the price. $300. Yes, you heard that right. It’s quite expensive. But the difference, I was told, is that these are personalized, rather than just a general one written for anybody. Those are less effective. So many laugh at me for having one and then spending so much. But the old woman prayed day and night for 3 days straight to make this charm.
And was it effective you might ask? Yes. Very.
I am a lucky person. It sounds odd but I can feel my luck. I know I was born lucky. I can’t describe it but good things (as well as bad) happen to me but the usually in a very good way. The bad is just momentary. And the bad only happens when I am around negative people. There are really negative people who just suck your luck and energy away. My mother and ex were those kinds of people. Once I got away, life improved drastically. Once I got away from my ex, I felt better, I got better housing, and I ended up with a nice bit of extra money in the bank almost immediately after receiving this charm. It has paid itself back many fold.
When I met my friend this weekend during Chuseok, she told me that the old Shaman woman said that I was a very lucky person, that she felt it too. But she also said that this year, I won’t meet anyone for love. It’s too soon yet. And it makes sense with the charm. They usually last for a year. So she told my friend to tell me to hold off and just wait until next year. Next year will be a better year.
And it sounds really strange but it is really comforting to hear that. I always think I’m doing something wrong but it’s not me, it’s just timing. It’s just not the right time. Later. Now is the time for learning. Learning how to be me again. Learning what me is. And it’s nice to know I don’t have to focus on that right now and can focus on other things. And although it’s odd to say I believe, I kinda do. It’s that reassurance I needed right now. The push to focus on things that need more immediate attention. I’m so worried now about some people in my life but it’s like life telling me, if they’re there next year, they’re worth it. If not, they’re not. Don’t bother yourself with those who don’t stick around. But I think everything will turn out just fine.