You never call. You never message. But when you do, I get so excited. I’m not sure why. Maybe I’m hoping something will be different. But then I hear “I have a grammar/pronunciation question” right after the greetings because you are having a debate with your girlfriend, and my heart breaks. I’ll never know why I expected anything different.
I need to move on and meet new people. And I realized it is just so difficult with the lifestyle that I live. My work begins at 6 and I work until 10 at night. I have time in the middle of the day, from maybe 1-6ish. I work 6 days a week. I live alone in a one room apartment. My coworkers aren’t very close with each other outside of work. We all have our own lives. The only people I see on a regular basis are my coworkers. Where on earth can I even meet new people? In University, when you live in a dorm, it’s completely different. Everyone is the same age, they leave their doors open for others to come in, etc. It’s different in an apartment building. And yes, I can meet my students, but it’s like meeting a client. A little different than that but similar.
I have joined a dance class but when I have time is in the middle of the day, when most people are working. That time of the day, I can meet lots of old women, but no one really my age unless they are looking for a job. It’s just a neverending cycle.
I feel like I complain about this a lot. And I apologize to my readers for this, but when you become in this situation when you are a really social person, you will understand.
And the few men that I meet are not interested in me like a woman. So, therefore I am trying to lose some weight to make myself somewhat more attractive. Now, you should never change yourself for someone else. This is very important. I want to change myself for me. To look better. I’m tired of being fat and not being able to wear pretty clothes. I know I have a good personality. At least, it’s an agreeable personality. And I have a decent face. It’s just what’s below the neck. Once I get that sorted out, I’ll be unstoppable. Now, should I keep up with dance class or should I try the spinning classes I was recommended? I have a month to decide. I want to look amazing for April. I want it to be like a miracle happened. I will get someone. I just have to figure it out.